When doing an adoption, there are reasonable expenses that are allowed by law to be paid on behalf of the Birthfamily by the adoptive family.  It is important that, before you pay any money, you confer with an adoption agency or an attorney that practices adoption law in your state to be sure you are not paying for anything that is not allowed by law.  In addition, you want to be sure that what you are paying for are legitimate expenses, not expenses that a Birthparent is claiming to need paid.

Many states do not specifically spell out what expenses are considered “reasonable expenses”.  However, as a general rule, reasonable expenses include such things as grocery store gift cards, prenatal vitamins, rent, gas for the car to get to doctor’s appointments, maternity clothes and medical expenses that are specifically related to the pregnancy.  Unreasonable expenses include buying the Birthparent a vehicle, home or jewelry.  Each state also has a time frame in which paying expenses is permissible by law such as 1-2 months before a baby is born and a certain amount of time after a baby is born.  You need to be sure that you stay within the time lines of your state.

No money should ever be paid directly to a Birthparent.  This could be misconstrued in the court’s eyes as you paying for the baby.  Rent money should be paid directly to the landlord, groceries can be paid for with gift certificates and medical expenses should be paid directly to the hospital or doctor’s office.  It is a good idea to work with an agency or adoption attorney when it comes to paying expenses.  They will be able to talk to you and the Birthparents about what is permissible in a court of law.  When a Birthparent signs a consent to the adoption, they must list all expenses that have been paid on their behalf.  In addition, if a Birthparent has a change of heart and decides to parent, they DO NOT have to repay you for any expenses that you paid.  The reason that they do not have to reimburse you for these expenses is that, the court’s eyes, any money you pay is considered a gift otherwise it would be as though you are paying the Birthparent for the baby.

Because interstate adoptions involve the laws of two states, you should always consult an agency or attorney in your state and the state where the Birthparent resides.  In addition, the sooner you involve an agency or adoption attorney in the other state to work with the Birthparent the better.  They can confirm the needs of the Birthparent and verify that what the Birthparent is stating they need is true.

You should save all the receipts for Birthparent related expenses that you have paid.  If there is ever a question about something that was paid, you can have proof of exactly how you paid for it.  You can also use the expenses as part of the adoption tax law when filing your income tax.

In addition to the laws regarding paying expenses for a Birthparent, it is important for you to know that it is considered a big red flag if a Birthparent’s primary concern is money, getting bills paid and getting money for needed items.  A Birthparent who is making a legitimate adoption plan is concerned with the welfare, safety, security and happiness of her child first and foremost.  For this reason, adoption agencies tend to be a little wary of a Birthparent who calls for adoption information and asks about getting money before anything else.

If you ever feel concerned about expenses that you are being asked to pay, speak to an adoption agency or adoption attorney before paying for anything.  It is important that you follow the legal guidelines when paying for expenses on behalf of Birthparents.  These laws are in place to protect the rights of adoptive families, Birthparents and the children.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 2nd, 2006 at 7:25 pm and is filed under Adoption. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.