Let me just begin by stating that I hate the word infertility.  To me, stating that you are “infertile” or going to an “infertility doctor” or even doing “infertility treatments” all has a negative connotation.  Let’s face it; it already isn’t the happiest most stress free point in your life.  You want to start a family, but it isn’t happening like you planned.  You are stressed, EVERYTHING is all about timing and there is no more spontaneity in some of the most intimate parts of your life.  You are sad because the thing you want the most is not happening, so why add another negative component to the whole experience?

This brings me to the first way to take charge of your fertility and that is to drop the word “infertility” and replace it with the word “fertility”.  I am going to a “fertility doctor”, I am going to a “fertility clinic”, we are going through “fertility treatments”.  To me, this sounds more hopeful and at this point that is what you are looking for: hope.  Wouldn’t you consider “infertile” to sound much worse than “fertile”?  I know it is just psychological, but it is something that has stuck with me and my other friends going through fertility treatments and we refuse to say it any other way

The second way to take charge of your fertility is to ask questions and seek answers.  If you don’t understand something, ask.  If you want to know about a different treatment not mentioned by your doctor, ask.  If something doesn’t feel right to you, ask.  If you still have more questions, join an online chat group, a fertility support group or ask your clinic if they know of someone who might be willing to talk to you.  Don’t just sit back and let things happen to you.  Go to your Doctor armed with a whole list of questions and don’t leave until they are answered.

The last thing that I want you to do is actually the hardest thing to do when you are in the middle of all of this.  That is, don’t let your fertility take charge of you; take charge of your fertility.  This whole process is so consuming.  If you ere on the OCD side like me, it is all that you can think about.  When is my next appointment?  Don’t forget to take that temperature first thing in the morning.  What time do I need to get that shot?  I need to cut out the caffeine just in case it works.  You get so caught up in it all that you lose yourself.  This might mean taking a few months off, starting a hobby that doesn’t involve obsessing about the time of the month or going away for a long weekend with your husband and leaving the basal body thermometer at home.  Don’t lose yourself in your fertility.

So, drop the “I” word, lose “infertility” and start taking up the good “f” word “fertility”.  Make yourself an expert on the subject.  This is your body we are talking about.  You need to know what is happening and why and what each treatment involves and means for you.  The most important thing to do, though, is to take some time out for yourself and your spouse.  Remember who you are and what you enjoy doing and try, as hard as it, to lose yourself in fun things every now and then because everybody needs a break now and then.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 13th, 2006 at 5:13 am and is filed under Fertility. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.