When you become the parent of multiples, it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that because they were born just minutes apart, they should be doing everything else at the same time, or at least in close proximity.  You lose site of the fact that they are each individual little human beings with different personalities who will reach their developmental milestones at different times, sometimes weeks or months apart.

Everything from walking, talking and smiling to eating, singing and counting will more than likely happen at distinctly different times.  Parents with children who are born years apart find it easier to recognize different personalities and to not read into developmental differences as much as parents of multiples whose children are experiencing everything at the same time.

As your children grow, you will begin to understand that their personalities play a big role in their development.  For instance, one of your multiples might be more social from the beginning and might start talking and gibbering more than the others.  The other children, in turn, might not feel like they have to talk yet because their brother or sister can answer all the questions or does enough talking for all of them put together.

My son started smiling early.  It took his twin sister forever to smile.  I began to get worried.  Was she not happy?  Was something wrong?  Could she not hear well?  What we have discovered is that she is just the serious one (most of the time).  She likes to check things and objects out, look them over, really think about them before she decides how she feels about them and whether or not she wants to share a smile.

A friend of mine with quads said that one of her children began crawling over a month before the others.  If any of them wanted anything, he would crawl and get it for them.  If there was a need for a bottle, snack, toy or blankie, he was on the move.  The funny thing was, none of them could talk at that time, he just seemed to sense what they needed.  He also started walking first and is still the most active of all of them.

For some multiples, having a sibling that learns things first is an incentive for them to start doing the same thing.  With our twins, such things moving to a sippy cup, trying different foods, saying ABCs and counting have all happened within days of each other.  It was almost as though one of them had to take the big step to try something new and the other one felt like it seemed like a good idea.

Other milestones, such as smiling, talking, rolling over, crawling and walking, happened 2-6 weeks apart.  It doesn’t mean that either of them experienced a developmental delay, it just means that they did it when they were ready.  However, as parents, you constantly wonder why they aren’t both doing the same thing at the same time.  We just had to learn to let it go.

They are both individuals, just as all multiples are individuals.  Even identical multiples learn things at different rates.  Don’t worry as long as they are reaching their milestones within the guidelines given by your pediatrician.  If you have any questions or concerns about development differences, don’t hesitate to talk to their doctor about it.  Afterall, you are their parent and you are with them every day.  If there are some delays that concern your doctor, the earlier they are addressed the better.

So, enjoy their little individual personalities.  Don’t compare them and realize that they have their own characteristics that will affect how and when they learn something.  You will be amazed at the bond and relationship that they form with each other and how they will influence each other’s development as well.

Before our twins arrived, my husband and I had dated for 2 years and had been married for 5 ½ years.  We had more than 7 years together where it was just the two of us.  For seven years we only had to basically worry about each other.  We would go on day trips, fix each other special dinners, go out to lunch in the middle of the work day and basically did whatever we wanted to do whenever we wanted to do.

We were so excited to finally have the opportunity to be parents after almost four years of fertility problems.  We planned for their arrival and enjoyed spending as much time together as we could.  We knew that things would change when the babies arrived, but I don’t think either of us knew how much it would change.

For the first three months or so, we were just trying to stay above water.  After a 4-5 week stint in the NICU, we were around the clock baby caregivers.  At the end of the day, after the babies were taken care of we didn’t have a lot of energy left over to put into our relationship.  That doesn’t mean that we had problems, it just meant we literally didn’t have any energy at times to even have a meaningful conversation other than “I love you” and “goodnight”.

About the time our twins turned three months, we began to feel like we were on more solid ground.  They were on the same schedule, they were able to be amused with toys for short periods of time and we were actually able to chat about what happened during the day, what we wanted to cook for dinner or to discuss a TV show or magazine article that we had read.

Our leisurely Sunday mornings spent reading the newspaper and lounging in PJs before church sort of returned too.  We were able to read the newspaper or take turns reading to each other as the other one changed diapers or played with babies.

We are avid boaters, but the boat stayed in storage that first summer.  One thing that we found enjoyable was to pack the kids in the car, pack a lunch and drive to the lake.  The kids would snooze in the back of the car and we would picnic in the front seat.  It was fun and was a much needed break for all of us to get out of the house for a bit.

After the kids went to sleep at night, we would sit on the side porch and have a date with cheese and wine (well fake wine since I was breast feeding).  Just taking the time to stop whatever we were doing for 15 minutes to give each other our undivided attention was important and helped us to reconnect.

Now that the kids are over two, we have gone on a few real dates and we relax together in the afternoon on the weekends when the kids nap.  We’ll read the paper, sit on the side porch and talk or enjoy an afternoon cookie snack.  We have learned to better balance our attention to the children, ourselves and each other so that we feel like our relationship is stronger than ever.

When you first bring your children home, it may seem like it will be forever before you will have the energy to devote time to your relationship again.  That time will come.  In the meantime, look for ways that you can make time to spend some time with your spouse each day even if it is just for 20 minutes over baby bottles and dirty diapers while holding two, three or four sleeping babies.

When you bring your multiples home from the hospital, your life will change in many ways.  One of the biggest changes you will experience is there is no longer such a thing as “me” time.  At least it might seem that way because you will be so caught up in changing diapers, feeding and keeping their schedules that there is no time left at the end of the day.

Yes, as a new parent you can expect that to happen for the most part.  When you sign up for parenting multiples you are signing up for a lifestyle change.  What you need to realize is that you need to make time for yourself, even if it is just 5-10 minutes out of the day.  While that might not seem like a lot of time, it can make all the difference in the world to your sanity and can actually refresh you for the rest of the day.

It took me a long time to realize this.  I was determined to be the best Mommy in the world.  I had waited a long time for the blessing of my twins and I threw myself in head first.  There would be no complaining about lack of sleep or no time to scrapbook.  This was my job now and every single second needed to be devoted to them.

What I realized after about 3 months was that, in order to be the best Mommy in the world, I had to take a little break every now and then.  I actually found this out in a simple way.  One afternoon the kids were playing in their bouncy seats and I looked at my toes and calculated whether or not I had the time to paint my nails.  Would I be neglecting them if they hung out in their seats for 5 minutes while I did something for myself?  This might seem like a stupid question to many of you.  Of course it would be ok to paint my nails!  They were having a fun time laughing in their seats and playing with the toys dangling over their heads.

So I got out my nail polish and painted my toenails, something that had not been done for almost 3 months since they were born early and spent time in the NICU.  So I got out the polish and took pampered my toes.  When I was finished, I realized that they were still having a good time and I wasn’t “neglecting” them.  They were perfectly fine and it was perfectly fine for me to do something for myself.

After that day, I made it a point to do something for myself each day.  I would read a few articles in a People Magazine or read a chapter in a book.  I kept my nails looking good.  Some days I would treat myself to a Frappacino or make a beaded bracelet.  Although I still devoted a majority of my day to my children, I began to realize how important it was to give 15 minutes to myself each day too.

I also began to make it a point to get outside, even if it was just for 10-15 minutes.  Fresh air was important to me and to the children.  We began to take a daily stroll, weather permitting.  On hot or cold days we would stroll in the mall for a short period of time.  It was good for them to experience different sights and smells and good for me to get out of the house.

From my first two wonderful years with my children, one of the biggest things I have learned is that it is important for my well being and their well being to do something for myself every now and then.  It doesn’t make me a bad parent to go for coffee with a friend every now and then or even read a magazine while they look at books.  In fact, I believe that it has helped me to be a better parent.  For this reason, I encourage you to make time for yourself when you have multiples.  It is more challenging the first few months, but once things slow down, find what it is that you are missing or needing and treat yourself to a few minutes of personal time each day.

I recently read somewhere that when parents who have multiples come home from the hospital and feel like they have landed on another planet.  This made me laugh out loud and want to shout “amen to that”.  I knew it would be a different experience once my twins were home.  After 5 ½ years of it just being the two of us, I was prepared for a little change, but oh what a change it was.

Don’t get me wrong.  After our fertility journey and the wonderful news of our twins on the way, I was elated.  I was equally elated when they came home from the NICU and we were finally a family.  My husband and I learned to develop an awesome sense of humor about many things.  Like the first hour home when they started crying at the same time and we both said “oh, we are in trouble” at the same time and burst out laughing.

We learned quickly to prioritize things in our household.  By this I mean taking care of the basics and letting everything else wait.  The basics for babies are food, clothing, diapers and sleep with a little play/snuggle time thrown in the mix.  If they were fed, had on clean clothes, dry diapers and were either looking at a colorful toy, listening to us read or sleeping soundly then we had done our job for that time period.

By time period, I mean every 3-4 hours when the feeding cycle would start all over again.  Our days were broken down by these time periods and the only thing we had to accomplish during that time period was to ensure that all the basics were met.  If all those things were taken care of, then our job was done.

Everything else was secondary.  After food, clothing, diapers, sleep and play/snuggle time we were able to discern what needed done next.  This usually consisted of food and a nap for us and either putting a load of laundry in the washer or switching it over to the dryer.  Or one of us might make a quick trip to the grocery store while the other one did double baby duty.  Baths for babies and the two of us fell somewhere among that mix.

We also learned to let a lot of things go or wait until absolutely necessary.  We learned that a little dust on the TV or on the hard wood floor was ok and that it would definitely wait there until we were able to get to it.  Magazine subscriptions were let go for that first year to avoid the anxiety of having them pile up in the magazine rack, begging to be read.

Gone were the days of handmade baby quilts for shower gifts and the store registry became my friend when shopping for friends who were expecting.  Scrapbooking is still a sweet memory for me, but I’ve learned to jot down 2-3 sentences in a notebook when I take pictures so that someday when I get to it I will know why I took the picture of both of them sitting on top of the end table or feeding each other chips at the table for the 1st time.  The boat didn’t get de-winterized that first summer after they were born and it ran fine the next year.

Me, the gal that likes all her ducks in a row, learned to let things go.  It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my sanity and necessary for me to keep my focus where it needed to be: on taking care of my sweet, little babies.

Even now, two years later, I still have learned to prioritize things and let some things go.  If the choice is reading books with my children sitting on my lap or having them play off by themselves while I dust the house, I opt for the books every time.  It isn’t just a cop out for not cleaning…honest!  It is the fact that in another three years they will be in school and I will have all the time in the world to clean.

Three years from now it won’t matter how clean my floors were, how dust free the TV set was or whether or not ALL of their toys made it back in the toy bins every night.  What matters now and will still matter then is that I made sure that all their basic needs were met, that I learned to prioritize what was most important for their lives and ours and that everything else could wait until we were able to eventually get to it.  If all this was done, then our mission was accomplished here on Planet Multiples.

When I was in the hospital on bed rest for three weeks, I was visited by a representative of the local parents of multiples organization.  She brought me all sorts of interesting and helpful tips and information for parenting multiples.  One of the most helpful bits of information she gave me was about organizations that offer discounts and free products for families with multiples.

I had no idea up to that point that there were so many companies and organizations willing to help families with twins, triplets, quads and more.  There were offers for anything from 10% off clothing and baby items to free diapers and toys.

For most of these places, you have to wait until after your children are born to call them, visit them or send in a form.  Most places wanted copies of birth certificates or newspaper announcements to verify that you actually have multiples.  Only a few places required no proof of birth at all.

Even though I was planning to breast feed, I had a transition period from NICU bottle feeding to breast feeding once they got home.  My daughter used Similac and my son used Isomil.  I contacted Similac and received samples, free coupons and money saving coupons for both types of formula.  They even followed up a few months later by sending more coupons.  Enfamil and Carnation were also on my list for helping multiples.

Gerber Foods, H J Heinz and Beechnut also sent coupons for free food and food coupons.  This was for jar food and snacks, which they were eating before I knew it.  They also followed up with coupons for different stages of food as they grew and more snack coupons.

Any parent of multiples can attest to the fact that you will see an abundance of diapers in your household.  Pampers and Huggies both give help to parents of multiples through free diaper coupons and money saving diaper coupons.  Now that my children are transitioning to pullups, we have received more coupons from those companies.  Even though we chose to use disposable diapers, our local diaper service offered a 10% discount to parents of multiples, so you can check with the diaper service in your area.

Other companies that were on the list included Johnson and Johnson (that sent 5 coupons for free baby bath products), Evenflo, First Years, Fisher Price, Playtex, Sassy, Tylenol and Triaminic.  When I called Sassy and First Years they stated that they did not have a program for multiples, but I have talked to other parents since then who got free stuff so I might have just talked to a representative who didn’t know about the multiples program.

We have a number of local retailers that offer discounts for multiples.  These stores include Baby Depot, Osh-Kosh, Stride Rite, Buster Brown, Babies R Us, Carters and Payless.  Most of these stores offer a 10% discount.  Payless gives free 0-6 month shoes, but I never went to get them as they stayed barefoot all summer, so I don’t know what they look like.  Don’t be afraid to ask local retailers if they offer any discounts for parents of multiples.  It might be something that they have never thought about but are glad to do to help you out and keep you coming back.

You can find 800 numbers for the national companies online.  If any of them say they don’t have a multiples program I would encourage you to call back and speak with a different representative just to be sure.  You can also search online for free products of discounts offered to parents of multiples.  Hopefully you will find something else to add to this list.

I’m so glad that someone visited me in the hospital and gave me this valuable information.  It saved us a lot of money and also introduced us to some products that we might not have tried otherwise.  If your babies haven’t arrived yet, take this time to compile a list of phone numbers and guidelines so that once they get here you can contact the companies and have everything you need ready to go.  If they are already here, make time each day to call just one company so that it doesn’t become overwhelming but you are still able to take advantage of what they each have to offer.  Happy shopping to you!

When parents of newborns get home from the hospital, they can tell you all about how tired they are and how they had trouble remembering if their baby’s last feeding was at 3:00 am or 4:00 am and whether or not there were 8 wet diapers and 2 messy diapers or 7 wet diapers and 3 messy diapers.  When you start multiplying that all by two, three, four or more, you can begin to imagine how hard it to keep track of schedules when your life is filled with multiples.

After my twins were born, I was visited in the hospital room by a parent from the local parents of multiples club.  She gave me a lot of good reading materials, tips and a chart to use to keep track of my children’s feeding, sleeping and diaper schedule.  Up until that point, it had only vaguely crossed my mind that I would need to keep track of some of those things in the back of my mind.  Before the twins, I had a mind like a steel trap.  After a few nights of sleep deprivation, my steel trap eroded and remembering whether or not I had eaten or brushed my teeth was a difficult task.

My twins spent their first month in the NICU where nurses and doctors kept track of all of their daily goings on, from feedings to diaper changes and everything in between. Once I got home it was all up to me. I was thankful for the chart that I was given in the hospital and I had my husband make lots and lots of copies of it.  I didn’t follow it religiously or live by the chart, but it came in handy when I had to feed them every three hours around the clock for the first two months to help them gain weight.

In the beginning I didn’t have them on the same schedule and I was trying to teach them how to breast feed, while supplementing with a bottle and pumping in between.  So my life was like this: attempt to breast feed then give bottle to baby one, attempt to breast feed then give bottle to baby two and then pump for 20 minutes.  When that was all done I would have about 30-45 minutes before starting all over again.  If you do the math, you can see that I had very little sleep during those two months because I also had to eat and take a shower and maybe have a little time to talk to my husband.

The chart became essential because I couldn’t remember what time I did the last feeding and which one I started first on that go round.  Plus, when I went to the doctor’s office they always wanted to know how much each of them was drinking.  I didn’t have to try to keep track of ounces for two babies.  I just wrote the ounces down on the paper and had my husband add it up for me throughout the week.

I didn’t stress as much about the diapers as the feedings because I knew that they were both going on a regular basis, but if you have triplets or higher order multiples, keeping track of the diapers is harder and the chart comes in more handy for that as well.

One way to simplify your life when your multiples come home is to post the chart in an easy to get to place such as the nursery or the refrigerator door.  It only takes a couple of seconds to write down a time and the number of ounces drank or whether or not they had a dirty diaper.  If your steel trap erodes like mine did, you will be thankful for all the help you can get.

Being the parent of multiples you are well aware of the trouble you sometimes go through when you schedule a well child checkup.  Invariably, at least one time, you will schedule all your children for a checkup only to arrive to discover that they have booked a time slot for just one child.  This can be easy to do when your children all have the same last name, birth date, doctor and especially if your children are the same sex.  The only difference is their first name and this can be easily overlooked.

Parents of singletons need to keep a good record of their child’s doctor visits, shots and medical conditions.  Parents of multiples need to keep an even better, more concise record.  Because all children are receiving well child checkups at the same time, you need to make sure that all of them are getting asked the same questions and getting the appropriate vaccinations.  When one child is sick, it is important to make sure that their information is being recorded in the correct child’s file.  Again, it is easy to have a mix up because almost all of their information is identical and their files are typically next to each other in the drawer.

If your multiples have different allergies, allergic reactions or are prone to different illnesses such as ear infections or sinus infections, maintaining their correct medical information can be imperative especially in emergency situations.  If they are put in the hospital for something and the hospital does not receive all of the correct information, there could be horrible consequences.  For this reason, it is important for you to maintain your own records so that if you are ever in this type of situation you can ensure that the correct information is given.

Health insurance can be a problem for multiples at times as well.  Our problems started when our twins were in the NICU and procedures for one were getting charged to the other’s name and vice versa.  We had to constantly straighten things out with the insurance company.  Currently our children are on identical medications.  They aren’t for anything serious, but are necessary none the less.  Let’s just say they need more fiber in their lives.  Anyway, two pharmacy trips ago when we went to pick up their medications, the Dr.’s office had only renewed one of the prescriptions and the last time we went, the insurance company refused to let us purchase both bottles at the same visit because they had them listed as one child instead of two. Luckily the pharmacist was able to straighten things out.  Health insurance mix-ups are not uncommon for multiples.

The best way to prevent Dr.’s office mix-ups and insurance claim problems is to stay on top of things.  Keep your own accurate records of your child’s medical and vaccination history and review all medical claims to make sure that the claim for each child was filed correctly.  I have found that, whenever there is a mix-up, people have been quick to correct any problems once they know the basis for the problems.  Hopefully you will have the same positive experiences or will be able to avoid problems all together by preventing them from happening in the first place.

Since getting pregnant and becoming the Mom of twins, I have entered the world of nosy multiples questions.  I’m sure that you have either entered this world yourself or are about to embark on a journey to this world.  I have come to be able to decipher nosy questions/comments and curious questions/comments, but some still leave me stumped and a bit speachless.

What I have found is that the more I get asked these questions, the better answers or responses I have been able to come up with.  I hope that by addressing some of these issues in this article I will help you to be prepared and give you some time to come up with your own answers before you are faced with these questions.

The question that we have gotten the most is “Do twins run in your family?”  Sometimes this a genuine question because people who have twins in their family have a higher chance of having twins.  Sometimes this question translates to “What kind of fertility drugs did you take to get pregnant?”  This can be offensive to either someone who did take fertility drugs or someone who didn’t.  I would really rather someone come out and just ask us if we did IVF or another fertility procedure than beat around the bush.

We did do IVF and that is how we have our beautiful babies, but I have found that I don’t always want to share this and shouldn’t always share this with others, so I have come up with some standard responses.  First of all, twins do run in my husband’s family so, for someone who doesn’t understand genetics and the fact that a woman’s eggs and chances of having twins have nothing to do with her husband’s side of the family I can simply answer that yes, twins run in my husband’s family.  Often I just say “No they don’t.  We are just twice blessed.”  When I was in the hospital on bed rest and constantly got asked about our twins, I would just say that we had a little help getting pregnant.  In the hospital, most nurses asked if they were “spontaneous twins” which, although it sounds a bit odd, I can understand is simply medical terminology.   I did however take a little offense when one nurse kept referring to them by asking if they were “natural twins or”…kind leaving a pause after that question which led me to believe she was calling them unnatural if we had used IVF or another treatment.  I would always answer her that they were very natural, but we had done fertility treatments.  She never got the point.

Along with the questions about twins running in the family, I often get the stories from other people of how they know somebody who did fertility treatments and now have twins, triplets or quads.  This is from people who don’t know we’ve done treatments.  I think that they are just fishing to see if we did any type of fertility stuff.  I don’t tell these individuals that we did IVF.  I just listen to the stories and say how wonderful it is that these people are now parents.

Every now and then someone is bold enough to come right out and ask if we did anything to get pregnant.  I have always been open about the fertility process and 9 times out of 10 I will say yes without going into any detail because that is really none of their business.  I’m not ashamed that we did IVF and I’m not going to lie either.

Of all the multiples questions we have gotten, the most bizarre and reoccurring question is whether or not our twins are identical.  This is AFTER we tell them we have a boy and a girl.  The first time I got that question was from a friend.  I thought it was her own pregnancy hormones causing her to not think before asking.  Most of the time I just smile politely and say “no”, but every now and then I have pointed out obvious genetic differences between the two when I think it is appropriate.  Two years later I still get that question even though my son has straight, blond hair and blue eyes and my daughter has brown curly hair and hazel eyes.  Go figure!

I would also often get asked questions about the logistics of breastfeeding my twins.  I even had someone ask how I could breastfeed two when I am so small chested.  I kid you not.  I recovered quickly from that one and just gave the standard size has nothing to do with milk production answer.  I often wonder if that stranger ever thought about that question with embarrassment.

These are just a few of the most asked questions about my twins that I have gotten so far.  I’m sure that there are more to come.  Think about these questions and come up with your own standard, witty or educational answers.  The more prepared you are for the questions/comments that might come your way, the more satisfied you will be with the way you answer and respond to them.

When you are pregnant with twins, triplets or higher order multiples, you need to follow separate guidelines regarding many of the nutrients and vitamins that you need during pregnancy.  What you need to be aware of is that you should get try to get these additional vitamins through healthy foods that you eat rather than through a vitamin supplement.  This should be easy since you already have to increase your caloric intake anyway.  If you combine calories with nutrients needed then you are killing two birds with one stone.

Before we start talking about vitamins and minerals for your multiples pregnancy, you must know that when you are pregnant with multiples, you should NOT take more than one prenatal vitamin per day (unless ordered by your doctor).  Prenatal vitamins have specific measurements of vitamins and minerals in them.  Some of those vitamins and minerals can become harmful if you take them in too large of a dose.  What you will find is that you don’t need twice the amount of everything for twins and three times the amount of everything for triplets.  You will just need a slight increase in some of the most essential vitamins and minerals.

Why is proper vitamin, mineral and nutrient intake so important for your multiples pregnancy?  They all help ensure that you are healthy during your pregnancy and they help ensure that your babies are healthy and develop appropriately.  They are the building blocks for helping to develop your babies’ muscles, organs and tissues and they help your babies’ to have proper eye, ear and mental development.  When you are expecting multiples, there are certain vitamins and minerals that you will need to increase to help your babies’ development.

Calcium intake is one of the most important things to watch food-wise during your pregnancy.  It is important to help your bones and teeth to stay strong as a multiples pregnancy can take it’s toll on those two things because your babies’ are taking the calcium from you.  You need to take enough calcium in for them AND for you.  It is also essential in helping your children develop strong bones and teeth in the future.  Instead of the 1000 mg of calcium recommended daily for a woman expecting one baby, women expecting twins or triplets should get at least 1200-1300 mg of calcium daily.  This equals about four cups of milk per day. You can also get your calcium through other foods such as cheese, yogurt, fruit smoothies and broccoli.

Many pregnant women experience constipation.  When you are expecting multiples, you are even more prone to having problems with constipation.  You should eat plenty of foods high in fiber such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, bran cereals and beans.  You can also discuss taking a fiber supplement with your OB/GYN.  They might have a particular brand to recommend.

Women expecting multiples have a higher risk for low iron levels and anemia.  Your OB/GYN should check your iron levels during your visits.  They might either prescribe an iron supplement or put you on a diet that contains foods that are high in iron.  Some foods high in iron include Total cereal, green, leafy vegetables, whole wheat, brown rice and watermelon.

Protein intake is also important for women carrying multiples.  If you are expecting twins, then you should aim for between 110-120 grams of protein daily and if you are expecting triplets then you should aim for between 140-150 grams of protein daily.  This means moms-to-be of twins need four protein servings daily and moms-to-be of triplets need five protein servings daily.  You can get protein from many sources including chicken breast, turkey breast, lean red meat, fish, soy-based products and eggs.

We have all heard the importance of taking Folic Acid during pregnancy.  If you are pregnant with multiples, you do not need to take any more Folic Acid than the recommended dose for a single pregnancy unless, of course, your doctor tells you differently.

Make your snacks count.  Choose snacks that are filling and rich in nutrients.  These could include peanut butter, peanut butter crackers, yogurt, nuts, cheese, dried fruit, granola and healthy bars, such as Luna Bars.  Keep these snacks handy.  To avoid temptation, clear your cupboards of unhealthy foods such as chocolate bars, pastries and cookies.  Yes, you can be bad every now and then, but the more healthy stuff you have around the better it will be for you and your babies.

This article can serve as a guideline to help you choose healthy foods for you and your babies during your pregnancy.  You should always consult with your OB/GYN and a hospital or clinic nutritionist to ensure that you are getting the proper nutrition.  By increasing some of your vitamin, mineral and nutrient intake you can help ensure that you are having a healthy pregnancy and that your babies are getting everything they need to help them develop appropriately and be healthy.

If you are already the parent of a child and are pregnant with multiples, you have a big task ahead of you to keep your child from getting lost in the shuffle.  Everyone always oohs and ahhs over twins, triplets, etc. and often their older sibling is left on the side lines.  You need to take extra steps to ensure that they do not feel left out of anything, especially your family circle.

Whether you are getting ready to welcome your multiples or they are already here and you are just looking for a way to help your other child to adjust, just recognizing that this is going to be a hug adjustment is the first step.  Going from an only child to a new brother or sister is hard enough, but if you have an only child and all of the sudden they are going to have to share the spotlight with not one, but two, three, four or more brothers and sisters, this is a huge adjustment.

Start by making them a part of the pregnancy from the beginning.  Have them help pick out clothes, baby toys and other baby things.  They need to feel like they are an important part of the process, that the toys or clothes they picked out for their new siblings are special.  Buy matching bibs that say “I Love My Big Brother” for the babies to wear.  Perhaps they can even help with name choices as well.  Whatever you choose to have them help you with, it is important that they are a part of everything and they have some control over the situation instead of feeling like they are just sitting back and watching everything happen with no input.

At the same time, don’t focus on the fact that they are going to be a “big brother” or “big sister” all the time.  They need to have “Mommy and Daddy and Me” time.  Time where nothing baby is discussed.  Whether you read together, go for a stroll down the road or watch their favorite TV show together for the 500th time, they need to feel like they are just as important as the babies that are coming.  As parents of multiples, it is easy to get caught up in all the preparations, but sometimes you have to set things aside and focus your sole attention on your little one that is already here.

During your pregnancy it might be a good time to introduce them to a Mother’s Day Out program or Day Care one or two days/week.  They will love being with other kids, learning new things, playing games and getting all that exercise.  It is good to start this during your pregnancy for two reasons.  First of all, you will need to have more rest and they still need the same amount of exercise so this will help meet both of your needs.  Second of all, you don’t want to wait until after the babies are here to start a program otherwise it might seem to your child like you are shipping them off or that they have to go to this program because the babies need all your attention and you don’t want to be with them.  I know you would never mean this by doing a Mother’s Day Out, but little kids can be sensitive and that might be what they take from it.

Make sure that, even after the babies get here, even if you are totally exhausted, that you take time to read together, go for a stroll down the road or watch their favorite TV show together for the 501st time.  They need to feel some normalcy amongst the chaos that multiples can bring.  They need and crave that one-on-one time.  You might be reading that book with two or three babies sleeping on one side of you and your toddler on the other, but they need that contact, that comfort and that feeling that you still care and love them and spending time with them is still important to you.

Arrange play dates for your child.  Most parents will understand that, for a short period of time, you will not be able to host the date but that you still want your child to get to spend time with your friends.  You don’t want this to become like a babysitting option for you or you will wear out the option of play dates pretty quickly.  But, at least 2 times/month, it would be good for your child to go play at a friend’s house, just like they used to be able to do.

Knowing that your child’s life will forever be changed with the birth of your multiples, you need to attempt to keep some sort of normalcy for them.  This might be as simple as still having pizza every Friday night or ice cream on Sunday afternoons.  They might just need you to read their favorite bedtime story or give them butterfly kisses.  As parents, we can sense some of what they need, but it is ok to ask them what they want as well.  They will tune into the fact that you are asking because you care.

So, as you prepare to add your little bundles of joy to your family nest or, if they are already here, as you try to get things back together at home, don’t forget the needs of your other child or children.  They need to know that they are still loved and cared for and that there is plenty of room in your life for them and your babies.  Everyone wants to feel that they are special, so be sure you do your part you help them feel that way.