I recently read somewhere that when parents who have multiples come home from the hospital and feel like they have landed on another planet.  This made me laugh out loud and want to shout “amen to that”.  I knew it would be a different experience once my twins were home.  After 5 ½ years of it just being the two of us, I was prepared for a little change, but oh what a change it was.

Don’t get me wrong.  After our fertility journey and the wonderful news of our twins on the way, I was elated.  I was equally elated when they came home from the NICU and we were finally a family.  My husband and I learned to develop an awesome sense of humor about many things.  Like the first hour home when they started crying at the same time and we both said “oh, we are in trouble” at the same time and burst out laughing.

We learned quickly to prioritize things in our household.  By this I mean taking care of the basics and letting everything else wait.  The basics for babies are food, clothing, diapers and sleep with a little play/snuggle time thrown in the mix.  If they were fed, had on clean clothes, dry diapers and were either looking at a colorful toy, listening to us read or sleeping soundly then we had done our job for that time period.

By time period, I mean every 3-4 hours when the feeding cycle would start all over again.  Our days were broken down by these time periods and the only thing we had to accomplish during that time period was to ensure that all the basics were met.  If all those things were taken care of, then our job was done.

Everything else was secondary.  After food, clothing, diapers, sleep and play/snuggle time we were able to discern what needed done next.  This usually consisted of food and a nap for us and either putting a load of laundry in the washer or switching it over to the dryer.  Or one of us might make a quick trip to the grocery store while the other one did double baby duty.  Baths for babies and the two of us fell somewhere among that mix.

We also learned to let a lot of things go or wait until absolutely necessary.  We learned that a little dust on the TV or on the hard wood floor was ok and that it would definitely wait there until we were able to get to it.  Magazine subscriptions were let go for that first year to avoid the anxiety of having them pile up in the magazine rack, begging to be read.

Gone were the days of handmade baby quilts for shower gifts and the store registry became my friend when shopping for friends who were expecting.  Scrapbooking is still a sweet memory for me, but I’ve learned to jot down 2-3 sentences in a notebook when I take pictures so that someday when I get to it I will know why I took the picture of both of them sitting on top of the end table or feeding each other chips at the table for the 1st time.  The boat didn’t get de-winterized that first summer after they were born and it ran fine the next year.

Me, the gal that likes all her ducks in a row, learned to let things go.  It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my sanity and necessary for me to keep my focus where it needed to be: on taking care of my sweet, little babies.

Even now, two years later, I still have learned to prioritize things and let some things go.  If the choice is reading books with my children sitting on my lap or having them play off by themselves while I dust the house, I opt for the books every time.  It isn’t just a cop out for not cleaning…honest!  It is the fact that in another three years they will be in school and I will have all the time in the world to clean.

Three years from now it won’t matter how clean my floors were, how dust free the TV set was or whether or not ALL of their toys made it back in the toy bins every night.  What matters now and will still matter then is that I made sure that all their basic needs were met, that I learned to prioritize what was most important for their lives and ours and that everything else could wait until we were able to eventually get to it.  If all this was done, then our mission was accomplished here on Planet Multiples.

When I was in the hospital on bed rest for three weeks, I was visited by a representative of the local parents of multiples organization.  She brought me all sorts of interesting and helpful tips and information for parenting multiples.  One of the most helpful bits of information she gave me was about organizations that offer discounts and free products for families with multiples.

I had no idea up to that point that there were so many companies and organizations willing to help families with twins, triplets, quads and more.  There were offers for anything from 10% off clothing and baby items to free diapers and toys.

For most of these places, you have to wait until after your children are born to call them, visit them or send in a form.  Most places wanted copies of birth certificates or newspaper announcements to verify that you actually have multiples.  Only a few places required no proof of birth at all.

Even though I was planning to breast feed, I had a transition period from NICU bottle feeding to breast feeding once they got home.  My daughter used Similac and my son used Isomil.  I contacted Similac and received samples, free coupons and money saving coupons for both types of formula.  They even followed up a few months later by sending more coupons.  Enfamil and Carnation were also on my list for helping multiples.

Gerber Foods, H J Heinz and Beechnut also sent coupons for free food and food coupons.  This was for jar food and snacks, which they were eating before I knew it.  They also followed up with coupons for different stages of food as they grew and more snack coupons.

Any parent of multiples can attest to the fact that you will see an abundance of diapers in your household.  Pampers and Huggies both give help to parents of multiples through free diaper coupons and money saving diaper coupons.  Now that my children are transitioning to pullups, we have received more coupons from those companies.  Even though we chose to use disposable diapers, our local diaper service offered a 10% discount to parents of multiples, so you can check with the diaper service in your area.

Other companies that were on the list included Johnson and Johnson (that sent 5 coupons for free baby bath products), Evenflo, First Years, Fisher Price, Playtex, Sassy, Tylenol and Triaminic.  When I called Sassy and First Years they stated that they did not have a program for multiples, but I have talked to other parents since then who got free stuff so I might have just talked to a representative who didn’t know about the multiples program.

We have a number of local retailers that offer discounts for multiples.  These stores include Baby Depot, Osh-Kosh, Stride Rite, Buster Brown, Babies R Us, Carters and Payless.  Most of these stores offer a 10% discount.  Payless gives free 0-6 month shoes, but I never went to get them as they stayed barefoot all summer, so I don’t know what they look like.  Don’t be afraid to ask local retailers if they offer any discounts for parents of multiples.  It might be something that they have never thought about but are glad to do to help you out and keep you coming back.

You can find 800 numbers for the national companies online.  If any of them say they don’t have a multiples program I would encourage you to call back and speak with a different representative just to be sure.  You can also search online for free products of discounts offered to parents of multiples.  Hopefully you will find something else to add to this list.

I’m so glad that someone visited me in the hospital and gave me this valuable information.  It saved us a lot of money and also introduced us to some products that we might not have tried otherwise.  If your babies haven’t arrived yet, take this time to compile a list of phone numbers and guidelines so that once they get here you can contact the companies and have everything you need ready to go.  If they are already here, make time each day to call just one company so that it doesn’t become overwhelming but you are still able to take advantage of what they each have to offer.  Happy shopping to you!

When parents of newborns get home from the hospital, they can tell you all about how tired they are and how they had trouble remembering if their baby’s last feeding was at 3:00 am or 4:00 am and whether or not there were 8 wet diapers and 2 messy diapers or 7 wet diapers and 3 messy diapers.  When you start multiplying that all by two, three, four or more, you can begin to imagine how hard it to keep track of schedules when your life is filled with multiples.

After my twins were born, I was visited in the hospital room by a parent from the local parents of multiples club.  She gave me a lot of good reading materials, tips and a chart to use to keep track of my children’s feeding, sleeping and diaper schedule.  Up until that point, it had only vaguely crossed my mind that I would need to keep track of some of those things in the back of my mind.  Before the twins, I had a mind like a steel trap.  After a few nights of sleep deprivation, my steel trap eroded and remembering whether or not I had eaten or brushed my teeth was a difficult task.

My twins spent their first month in the NICU where nurses and doctors kept track of all of their daily goings on, from feedings to diaper changes and everything in between. Once I got home it was all up to me. I was thankful for the chart that I was given in the hospital and I had my husband make lots and lots of copies of it.  I didn’t follow it religiously or live by the chart, but it came in handy when I had to feed them every three hours around the clock for the first two months to help them gain weight.

In the beginning I didn’t have them on the same schedule and I was trying to teach them how to breast feed, while supplementing with a bottle and pumping in between.  So my life was like this: attempt to breast feed then give bottle to baby one, attempt to breast feed then give bottle to baby two and then pump for 20 minutes.  When that was all done I would have about 30-45 minutes before starting all over again.  If you do the math, you can see that I had very little sleep during those two months because I also had to eat and take a shower and maybe have a little time to talk to my husband.

The chart became essential because I couldn’t remember what time I did the last feeding and which one I started first on that go round.  Plus, when I went to the doctor’s office they always wanted to know how much each of them was drinking.  I didn’t have to try to keep track of ounces for two babies.  I just wrote the ounces down on the paper and had my husband add it up for me throughout the week.

I didn’t stress as much about the diapers as the feedings because I knew that they were both going on a regular basis, but if you have triplets or higher order multiples, keeping track of the diapers is harder and the chart comes in more handy for that as well.

One way to simplify your life when your multiples come home is to post the chart in an easy to get to place such as the nursery or the refrigerator door.  It only takes a couple of seconds to write down a time and the number of ounces drank or whether or not they had a dirty diaper.  If your steel trap erodes like mine did, you will be thankful for all the help you can get.

Being the parent of multiples you are well aware of the trouble you sometimes go through when you schedule a well child checkup.  Invariably, at least one time, you will schedule all your children for a checkup only to arrive to discover that they have booked a time slot for just one child.  This can be easy to do when your children all have the same last name, birth date, doctor and especially if your children are the same sex.  The only difference is their first name and this can be easily overlooked.

Parents of singletons need to keep a good record of their child’s doctor visits, shots and medical conditions.  Parents of multiples need to keep an even better, more concise record.  Because all children are receiving well child checkups at the same time, you need to make sure that all of them are getting asked the same questions and getting the appropriate vaccinations.  When one child is sick, it is important to make sure that their information is being recorded in the correct child’s file.  Again, it is easy to have a mix up because almost all of their information is identical and their files are typically next to each other in the drawer.

If your multiples have different allergies, allergic reactions or are prone to different illnesses such as ear infections or sinus infections, maintaining their correct medical information can be imperative especially in emergency situations.  If they are put in the hospital for something and the hospital does not receive all of the correct information, there could be horrible consequences.  For this reason, it is important for you to maintain your own records so that if you are ever in this type of situation you can ensure that the correct information is given.

Health insurance can be a problem for multiples at times as well.  Our problems started when our twins were in the NICU and procedures for one were getting charged to the other’s name and vice versa.  We had to constantly straighten things out with the insurance company.  Currently our children are on identical medications.  They aren’t for anything serious, but are necessary none the less.  Let’s just say they need more fiber in their lives.  Anyway, two pharmacy trips ago when we went to pick up their medications, the Dr.’s office had only renewed one of the prescriptions and the last time we went, the insurance company refused to let us purchase both bottles at the same visit because they had them listed as one child instead of two. Luckily the pharmacist was able to straighten things out.  Health insurance mix-ups are not uncommon for multiples.

The best way to prevent Dr.’s office mix-ups and insurance claim problems is to stay on top of things.  Keep your own accurate records of your child’s medical and vaccination history and review all medical claims to make sure that the claim for each child was filed correctly.  I have found that, whenever there is a mix-up, people have been quick to correct any problems once they know the basis for the problems.  Hopefully you will have the same positive experiences or will be able to avoid problems all together by preventing them from happening in the first place.