From the time we found out we were having twins, they forever became lumped together in sentences.  They were always referred to as “the twins” and probably will for the rest of their lives by many people.  One of the things that I have tried to do is to work on fostering their individuality and letting them be who they are as individuals.

As a parent of multiples, it really is easy to fall into the rut of doing the same thing with one as you do with the other.  This includes buying the same toys, feeding them the same foods, dressing them the same and expecting the same behaviors, likes and dislikes from each of them.  I have had to work hard to keep out of this rut.  Yes, it might involve a little more work on my part but I want them to be seen as two little people, not just “the twins”.

From the beginning I have sworn off matching outfits (much to the dismay of some of my family members).  Since I have boy/girl twins this was somewhat easier but we still managed to receive a lot of identical clothing.  I felt like if I dressed them alike it wouldn’t show their personalities, interests and, as they grow, hobbies.  I broke down on some coordinating stuff like pjs, I must admit I am a sucker for coordinating pjs like pink with sheep for her and blue with cows for him.  But, that is where I’ve drawn the line.

When it comes time for pictures, I make sure that I get just as many pictures of them alone as I do of them together.  This is true for the “milestone” pictures as well such as 3-months, 6-months, etc.  I always get poses of them by themselves and one together.  I keep a separate baby book for each of them for myself and to give to them when they are grown.  I want them to know that it was important to me the day he said “it’s a biiiiig truck” and the day she said her ABCs for the first time.  I want them to know that I recognize their individuality.

I always try to buy them different toys and books.  She loves books right now and he loves cars and trucks.  I don’t buy them both a book or both a truck, I buy them what they like.  Yes, it would be easier just to pick out two of the same or similar thing all the time but I really want to buy them toys that match their personality and interests.

Food has become the biggest challenges with them.  They are picky eaters, but picky in different ways.  I used to try to feed them the exact same thing. This would always result in left over food.  If you think about it, you and I probably like different things so why would we force ourselves to sit down every night and eat the same thing that one of us doesn’t like?  This often means cooking pasta for her and a chicken patty for him or slicing an apple for her and an orange for him.  As long as they are eating a healthy meal, that is all I care.

As I have learned to let go of the convenience of doing things in twos, I have learned to embrace their individual personalities even more. As a mom of multiples, it is so amazing to watch them grow up at the same time and develop their own personalities, their own quirky ways of doing things and their own likes and dislikes.  As their mom the best thing I can do for them is to offer some guidance and guidelines and let them be who they want to be.  And oh what wonderful little individuals “the twins” have become.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 15th, 2006 at 5:12 am and is filed under Multiples. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.