When we found out we were having twins and started preparing for their arrival, we began to set up the nursery.  Having heard all the “sweet” stories of how twins had shared the same room and slept better and woke up talking and playing together, we just automatically assumed this would be our case and we prepared one nursery for them both.

When they first came home, they slept side by side in our room.  This worked for a while, but if one woke up first, the other one would automatically wake up even though they were still sleepy.  As we transitioned them to the nursery, we discovered the same thing was happening, even though they had separate beds on opposite sides of the room.

They also have different sleeping habits and needs.  My daughter likes to be snuggled when she is tired and to fall asleep either in your arms or in the crib if there is background noise such as a TV or the radio.  I think if she hears voices she feels like she is still part of the crowd and will not miss out on anything.  She also requires an additional 1-1 ½ hours of play at night.  My son, on the other hand, wants you to give him his snuggly and pacifier, close the door and get out!  He likes to fall asleep on his own, with a sound machine on in the background and nothing else and when he is ready for bed, he is READY for bed.

What is the result of these sleeping differences?  We currently have one crib shoved into our bedroom for my daughter, my son has his very own room and we have plans to add onto our house this summer.  We thought the addition would wait until they were four or five years old.

Of course, this is just our experience and everyone has their own multiples sleeping/nursery stories.  I have a good friend whose twins wake up in the morning and play, passing objects between cribs and holding hands for about 45 minutes before they want out of the crib.  I also have a friend with quads that still share a bedroom five years later because they can’t stand to sleep apart.

My biggest suggestion regarding sharing nurseries is that it is ok to try sharing one, but be prepared to be open and flexible if it doesn’t work.  My twins are happier to see each other than anyone else when they wake up, they just don’t want to share in the joys of slumber together.

When my twins were born, they came early and spent over one month in the NICU.  When they finally came home, I was juggling feeding, sleeping and playing schedules.  I had one twin that wanted to be breast fed, one that wanted the bottle and I had to pump in between to alleviate the any guilt that my bottle fed baby would receive anything other than breast milk. So my day was feed, feed, pump and about 30 minutes until I started all over again…24 hours/day.  In between I wanted to play with them and interact with them for the little time they were awake, oh and yeah a nap and food for me was somewhat important.

The day I discovered that I could feed them both at the same time with a little careful maneuvering literally was a day that changed my life in twin world.  I discovered this about the time they turned 3 months old.  When I was done feeding them, I didn’t know what to do with my extra 2 hours in between.  I had a little play time and then I could either nap with them or have a moment to myself to make a phone call or check emails or read a magazine.

Since this discovery, my biggest tip and suggestion for parents-to-be of multiples is to start them on the same schedule from the beginning.  If you are breastfeeding, then breastfeed them at the same time.  For higher order multiples, this might still mean having two different feeding shifts or bottle feeding one at the same time you are breastfeeding two.  For babies that are all bottle fed, feed them at the same time as well.  This might mean switching out which baby you hold each time so that they all get direct face-to-face feeding time with you.  For me, having one baby in my arms and the other propped up in my lap while I fed them both worked best.  That way I didn’t feel like either one was left out.

When keeping the same schedules, you need to learn to be a little flexible.  For instance, one child might wake up 30 minutes before the rest.  You might have to start feeding that one and then break to get the other ones started and finish them all at the same time.  With my twins, when one woke up earlier, I enjoyed the one on one play time and I believe it was important for them as well.  They usually just played until the other one woke up and then ate together.

If you have someone helping you with some baby shifts, this also helps you to maintain a schedule.  Whether it is a spouse, relative or friend, sharing shifts and baby time is another way to keep you on schedule and sane.

So, as you prepare to welcome your little ones into the world or if they are already here and you are just searching for a way to help you, consider starting them on a schedule today.  They sooner you do, the sooner everything will fall into place and be more manageable.  It certainly helped me with my twin journey.  In fact, as I write this, my soon to be two year olds are both taking their afternoon nap!